We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
