Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
