we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
