Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I could fuck to npr.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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