Your dad touched me again.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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