it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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