Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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