I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
