I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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