She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
