bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
