We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
