now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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