consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
