I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
