She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
