I heard we made out
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
