Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
