do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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