We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
