Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
