how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
