She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
