We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
