There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize