i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
