Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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