yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
