Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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