You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
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