You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
