I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
