found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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