I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
