We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
