Walk of Shame. In a state park.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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