i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
