dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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