just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
