Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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