They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
