The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
