Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
