Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
