There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
