I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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