dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
