i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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