69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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