there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
