how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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