My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
