the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
