Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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