Nicole vs. Life
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
